Friendship

Friendships are one of the most treasured things in my life. They are the people that make my life glitter. Many of them have been in my life for a really long time. Others have only been here a short while in comparison but won’t be getting rid of me anytime soon.

However, there are a handful of people who were best friends in my past, and are no longer in my present. Ex-best friends seems too harsh a term, but it describes exactly what it feels like. 

And no one tells us when we’re growing up that it’s normal. That this is going to happen. That not all friendships are forever. Whoever came up with those half-heart BFF necklaces was totally lying. Friend breakups are some of the hardest ones.

But like relationships, not all friendships are going to see you through to the old gray, wheelchair days. Not every best friend from your childhood will be still standing at your side during your wedding. We grow up, we change, and those friends we thought we’d never grow out of, simply don’t make sense in our lives any more.

Trust me when I say, I know how tough it is. I’ve been there. And more likely than not, if you’re the one wanting the break up; they’re probably not “seeing” it the way you are. But you’ve spent so much energy trying to see this friendship through, and for whatever reason, you know it’s not one you want to continue.

Trust that feeling. Beautiful friendships aren’t meant to drain you. They’re meant to leave you feeling even more lively than before. Lasting friendships will take the twists and turns of life without a blink, but perhaps with a little fight here or there. Those types of friendships likely aren’t going to come in droves.

Drop the attachment and the guilt to long lost best friends. Don’t beat yourself up over the bestie breakup. Don’t cry when you find the other half of that BFF necklace, the one you shared with a girl you never talk to anymore. Take a breath and remember we all have them, the ex-besties. That’s life. Except unlike this un-fairy tale ending, no one told you early on that friendships aren’t forever.

These are some pieces from a blog called Ilo Inspired written by Maxie McCoy. I think this is the perfect piece for college freshman, or anyone dealing with losing a friendship. Its never easy because no two friend break ups are ever the same they happen for different reasons at different points in the relationship and no one can ever call it before it happens. In college its important to stay in contact with those from your past but it is also important to know when to let go. Its not something or someone can tell you. You have to look for the signs and be confident in the decisions you are making to know what to do. It's also important to have a support system for when friendships end because filling the voids isn't easy and it will take time.